


searching for a sound (we hadn't heard before)

by Butterfly



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Minor Quentin Coldwater/Alice Quinn, Set during 4x13 so there is very temporary MCD, tbh i feel like this plot is no stranger than some of the ones we've actually had on the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 06:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterfly/pseuds/Butterfly
Summary: "Seeing his friends, sitting there around a bonfire, crying because they love him, because they regret his death – something in Quentin balances on a knife's edge. Penny's arguments are logical, after all. They're what Quentin has always known to be true in his heart, that this is how he'd always end up. Maybe it is time to... say goodbye. To let go.Kady raises her hand, does the gestures of a familiar party trick spell which... okay, music gets played at memorials. That's kind of touching, really, and-“What the fuck. What the holy freakingfuckare they doing?” Quentin asks, flatly. It's rhetorical, mostly. He knows the spell and he knows the goddamn song, he just doesn't understand why that's apparently Kady's funeral fucking go-to. But, yeah,of coursehe knows the song... from every fucking time he's been at his mom's, because his mom's partner, Molly, is fucking obsessed with A-ha, andTake On Meis one of her favorite fucking songs.Fuck, he hates this synth-craptastic song."





	searching for a sound (we hadn't heard before)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Welcome to New York" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Content warning for some suicidal ideation talk that matches up with what was in 4x13.

Seeing his friends, sitting there around a bonfire, crying because they love him, because they regret his death – something in Quentin balances on a knife's edge. Penny's arguments are logical, after all. They're what Quentin has always known to be true in his heart, that this is how he'd always end up. Maybe it is time to... say goodbye. To let go.

Kady raises her hand, does the gestures of a familiar party trick spell which... okay, music gets played at memorials. That's kind of touching, really, and-

“What the fuck. What the holy freaking _fuck_ are they doing?” Quentin asks, flatly. It's rhetorical, mostly. He knows the spell and he knows the goddamn song, he just doesn't understand why that's apparently Kady's funeral fucking go-to. But, yeah, _of course_ he knows the song... from every fucking time he's been at his mom's, because his mom's partner, Molly, is fucking obsessed with A-ha, and _Take On Me_ is one of her favorite fucking songs.

Fuck, he hates this synth-craptastic song.

Penny looks confused. “They're... celebrating how much you meant to them.”

“Not with _this fucking song_ , they aren't,” Quentin says hotly. “Hey, you could possess objects when you were a ghost, right?”

He doesn't wait for an answer because Kady has just fucking chucked a first-edition _Fillory and Further_ into the fire and that is- Plover is a piece of shit, but those books were _expensive_.

He dives forward, aims for the book, envisions it, remembers with perfect clarity every word on every page-

-and now he's fucking _on fire_ , his cover is burning, holy shit – ow, ow, ow – he flings himself out of the fire, flaps around on the ground until he's no longer in agonizing pain.

The music stops. Thank fuck for small favors.

“Did- did the book just fly out of the fire on its own?” Kady asks. Quentin can't see or hear or smell, like this, not exactly, but he can sense things, kind of. It's pretty weird. A lot weirder than being a goose or a fox had been. He's being picked up – by Kady, which... it feels kinda strange and inappropriate to have her hands all over his body like that. He flutters his pages uncomfortably.

Everyone gathers around, Eliot bracing himself half on Alice and half on his cane.

“What the ever-loving fuck?” Margo asks, in a faint voice. “The book is fucking glowing in my fairy eye. Where did you _get_ that book, Kady?”

“It's Coldwater's,” Kady answers and... this is getting him nowhere plus he's still annoyed at Kady. He gets an idea, ruffles open his pages until he reaches the right section, tries to hop in Kady's hand to get her to pay attention.

“Uh,” Kady says. Not reading. “This is so fucking bizarre. Is this book like that one I stole from Brakebills? Does it need to screw one of the other _Fillory_ books?”

If he could sigh like this, he would. Instead, he just shakes in her hands more quickly, bangs his covers against her, hard.

She drops him.

Quentin lays there in the dirt, his spine aching from where it feels cracked and bruised. Ugh, first she sets him on fire and now she's broken his spine. He's _never_ lending a book to Kady.

Another set of hands picks him up, smaller and more familiar than Kady's. “So, are we thinking our Q put some magic in here?” Margo muses and then – finally! – she actually starts reading, out loud. She's only a few sentences in when Julia goes pale.

“Oh my god,” Julia whispers. “That's- that's the section about the Witch and the Fool.” The rest of the group has blank expressions and Julia lets out a frustrated huff of breath. “That's me and Q. We went back in time. We're the Witch and the- holy shit. Q's in the book.” Julia grabs Quentin out of Margo's hands, says desperately, “Q, if you're there, turn to my favorite part.”

He doesn't even have to think about it, flips his pages quickly.

“It's him,” Julia says, and she sounds bewildered but... happy. “Q's possessing his own fucking _Fillory_ book.”

“That sounds on brand,” Twenty-Three mutters. Everyone ignores him. Quentin feels around with his odd book-senses, trying to find the other Penny, but he seems to be gone.

“Well, if we do have Quentin's spirit in our- ah, possession, then we can bring him back,” Eliot points out. “I mean, that's what was stopping us before. No sign of his soul or shade or whatever we're calling it this week.”

“We'll have to make him a body,” Alice says, with that gleam in her eye that means she's already thinking of logistics.

It takes a few days. Quentin decides to stay in the book for the time being, since he's not certain he can't be taken back to the Underworld if he leaves and is just a ghost-person or whatever.

He spends a lot of time with Margo and Eliot, watching tv shows and movies with Margo's Netflix account and flapping up and away if she puts on something he doesn't like.

Alice mostly stays away from the apartment.

He's not entirely sure why. He'd tried to spend a little time with her while she wasn't working on making his new body, but she'd been stiff and awkward the whole time, so he'd given up and fluttered back to Julia's hand.

Julia's slowly re-learning human magic and he watches her work on that sometimes, but she gets embarrassed whenever she screws up something simple so... it's easier, really, to hang out with Margo and Eliot, who talk to him exactly as if he were actually himself and not his ghost possessing a partially-charred book.

Eliot's gotten into the habit of absent-mindedly stroking along Q's spine while they binge on the nerdy tv that Eliot likes to pretend he doesn't care about, which kinda feels amazing, maybe because Eliot has such gentle fingers.

When it's time for Quentin to be put back into his new body, he rustles nervously in Eliot's hands. Being a book has been oddly peaceful, maybe because he doesn't have glands or brain chemistry when he's like this. Going back into an anxious, fleshy human body feels like a step down, and he feels like he should probably apologize to Alice, again, for forcing her back into one a couple of years ago.

Still, it would be nice to have an actual two-way conversation with someone at some point in the future, so – after a quick check around for the presence of their original Penny – Quentin shivers and yanks his way out of the book.

The spell requires four casters, one at each compass point, so Quentin has Alice at his head, Eliot at his feet, Julia on his right, and Margo on his left. Quentin doesn't consciously choose to re-enter his body. The spell finishes and then sort of... sucks him back inside with a strange, gross slurping sensation.

Quentin opens his eyes, grabs at his throat, and immediately rolls over and spends about twenty minutes puking while Alice apologizes profusely.

“It was supposed to all be absorbed by the spell!” She pats his back, which doesn't really help with the nausea. “Wow, there's a lot of it, isn't there?”

Quentin doesn't answer. He's too busy throwing up.

When he's finally gotten all of the molding clay out of his stomach, he looks around at all his friends and they're... they're on the verge of tears, which is very sweet except he- he has a _visceral_ flashback to the memorial and so, completely in spite of his deep gratitude at them for resurrecting him, his first words to his friends are- “Fucking A-ha? Seriously, Kady? Come on, you couldn't think of _something_ from this millennium? I mean, I get that you probably aren't into current pop music but, I don't know, you could have given me some Hozier at least, or maybe something like Radiohead if that's still too modern for you. A song written after we were born is all I'm asking for, here.”

“Did you... did you come back from the dead to yell at Kady about her taste in music?” Eliot asks, and he's, oh fuck he's laughing and he's alive and he's literally a foot away from Quentin's face. That's... distracting.

“Not, you know. Exclusively,” Quentin says, grumpily. “But, seriously. El. Molly likes that band. _Molly_.” Eliot and Julia are the only two people, of course, who have any idea who Molly is. Eliot looks a little sympathetic but mostly just amused and it's- instinct, really, his brand-new body overwhelming his better judgment but Quentin just-

-leans forward. Kisses Eliot square on the mouth.

It takes a second for Quentin to remember:

  1. he probably tastes gross;
  2. Eliot doesn't want to date him;
  3. they are in front of literally everyone he cares about;
  4. including Alice, who he is – technically? Tentatively? – dating again;
  5. in conclusion: well, fuck.



He thinks he says that last part out loud, mumbles it against Eliot's mouth.

Quentin pulls away from Eliot who – looks pleased and dreamy and, wow, maybe Eliot _would_ actually want to – anyway, he pulls away and looks at Alice, who looks considerably _less_ pleased and dreamy.

“Um,” he says. “Hi. I'm not dead anymore. I guess. I should- we should probably talk in private?”

It's probably not the best start to what ends up being a very loud argument about a wide variety of issues including but not limited to:

  1. Quentin forcing Alice to watch him die and using Twenty-Three to overrule her autonomy;
  2. Alice kissing that younger version of Quentin when she knew very well that the current version of Quentin didn't want her to kiss him;
  3. Quentin making Alice watch him cheat on her with Eliot _for a second time;_
  4. Alice previously wanting immediate forgiveness for much larger sins than this one;
  5. Quentin asking Alice to date him when “you obviously want Eliot's dick back in your mouth” which she says in a voice that reminds him uncomfortably of when she was a niffin;
  6. Alice being kind of an asshole about Eliot being a guy, _specifically_ , and if she'd have been as bothered if he'd cheated on her with another girl;
  7. Quentin just, in general, not having his shit together enough to date her anyway.



Luckily, they're behind a silencing ward in his bedroom, so at least the yelling is only between him and Alice.

He does apologize to her. For many things, though not everything. She apologizes to him, too, though she's pretty annoyed at the end, still, which is probably fair.

When it's all over, he is definitely not dating Alice anymore so... yeah.

He walks out of the room which... is awkward, because it's his room... and Kady is blaring crappy '80s music and glaring at him from the gold chair, her mouth set and angry. He flips her off and she rolls her eyes. So. They'll be okay.

Julia and Twenty-Three are missing, but Margo and Eliot are sitting on the couch. Quentin drags himself over to them, flops onto the couch and lets himself be hauled face-down into Eliot's lap. Margo, on El's other side, pets at his hair and makes soft comforting noises. Eliot strokes a hand down his back and it's just as soothing this way as it was when he was a book.

“Feeling better now that you've had it out with Alice?” Margo asks. “You were in there for a while.”

“I mean. I'm pretty sure we're never gonna kiss again,” Quentin says. “ _That_ bridge was thoroughly burnt. Where'd Julia go?”

“She went somewhere with Twenty-Three,” Eliot says, with a breezy hand wave. “He said your mental wards weren't working at all, and he kinda wanted to get away from all the internal shrieking your brain was doing.”

“I just came back from being a book,” Quentin grumps. “You'd think people would be willing to cut me a little slack.”

Margo and Eliot laugh at him, which is profoundly unfair, but they also keep cuddling him, so that part's fine. He hears the door to his room open, and hides his face in Eliot's stomach which... is probably kind of mean of him, honestly. He can hear Alice's sigh even over the music, and then he hears her leave the apartment.

“You know, I think I'm gonna see if she needs a friend,” Margo says, thoughtfully. Then she raises her voice, “Hey, stop pouting over Coldwater's taste in music and come with me to talk to Alice.”

The music switches off. Thankfully.

Margo and Kady leave.

And it's just him and Eliot, at least for right now.

He rolls over in Eliot's lap so that he can peer up at El's face.

“So, hey. Sorry about kissing you,” Quentin says, to start.

“ _Are_ you?” Eliot asks. His face is soft.

“I mean- um. Not really,” Quentin admits, guiltily. “But I know you don't-”

“I do,” Eliot interrupts. “Absolutely. Sounds like a great idea.”

“Oh,” Quentin says.

Eliot's hand is in his hair and Eliot is tugging him up so that he can kiss him and-

-and they don't really get much talking done for the next couple of hours.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of this came while talking with [milominderbinder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/milominderbinder/pseuds/milominderbinder) and noticing that both of the characters on the show who canonically like music from a time period later than the '80s are dead. So, then we talked about the idea that Quentin, who loves more modern pop music, is horrified that The Gang are singing an '80s song at his memorial and he comes back from the dead just to complain about it.
> 
> Somehow, it became this.


End file.
